Attributing value is important for yourself and for others.
As children we often learn to see ourselves through the eyes of others and in the end we believe we are like this. Instead, we should be the first person to recognize our personal values. In relationships, you must see each other on the same level and never be superior or inferior to your partner. If the other disrespect us, it means that we allow it in part. Each of us behaves differently in a relationship because it is in relation to the personal value of the person. Our belief in our worth is the filter with which we move through the world. Also, also the way we accept or reject relationships with others or life experiences.
A healthy couple is when both partners place a similar value on each other. Everyone protects their own value to the extent that she feels she has it. The core of the problem is precisely ascribing a value to oneself . Often those who have difficulty perceiving her personal value have a condescending behavior waiting for the partner to recognize it. This sometimes threatens self-esteem and the relationship of the couple.
The dependence on others that makes us want confirmation of our value from our partner makes us insecure and this negatively affects the relationship. If you embark on a dysfunctional relationship in which you put your partner’s desires and whims first, that’s wrong. We are begging for happiness from our loved one. It is not fair that the partner decides the personal worth of the other.
Having self-respect is defending our individuality by setting limits, if exceeded there will be consequences. The essential thing is that in life one must be loved, valued and respected. Love brings happiness and must also make us appreciate who we really are. Let’s remove the fear of not making it, let’s allow ourselves the right to make mistakes, it’s a way to push ourselves to be better.
- Your value is decided by you, not by the presence of the other (psicoadvisor.com)