Borderline Personality Disorder: how to deal with married life

BPD can make life difficult for many couples. With relational and emotional work behind it, however, it means that it is possible to live together.


It’s hard to live with a partner with BPD , a really complicated borderline personality disorder . A person with this disorder has characteristics such as emotional instability, impulsivity, problems with interpersonal relationships. There may also be loss of identity, self-destructive behaviors.


If the disorder is diagnosed, it is possible to implement a cure with cognitive behavioral therapy . The following aspects of a partner with BPD should be considered. It means reflecting on why you fell in love with someone with BPD and being responsible for the decision you make. Some problems may arise in the relationship on the part of the person with BPD such as fear of abandonment, connection and communication difficulties. Also present mood swings with hostile verbal and physical reactions, then distrust distrusting others.

People with BPD live in real emotional storms , from which it is difficult to get out if you don’t learn skills that can keep you in balance. To live together with a person with this disorder you need to remain calm and serene, but above all be patient. The person who has a partner with BPD must know how to insert the right guidelines in order to improve the coexistence and well-being of the couple . Also, she must take care of herself in a way that benefits both of them. It is good to cultivate individual spaces and communicate clearly, set limits, support borderline personality disorder. 

Then there are the three rules with Cs blame, change, and communication . Don’t feel guilty about your partner’s attitudes, you can’t change your partner and don’t force yourself to want to change them. You need not be afraid to communicate wrong behavior to your partner with BPD. Be objective with a partner with BPD. A relationship must end when there is physical violence, when too many limits are set. Even when the partner is unwilling to make changes, if the mood is consistently bad. To end a relationship there is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) which offers the following advice: 

  • do not attack, threaten or feel guilty
  • listen to what your partner has to say
  • don’t judge your partner and give importance to their feelings and problems
  • try to stay calm and reassure your partner

Breakup is not easy, but if taken with care, compassion and discussion hopefully it can be resolved in the best way. After therapy a person with BPD can be in a successful relationship . It happens when people with this disorder acquire some emotional and impulsivity management skills 

  • Living with a partner with BPD: useful advice (


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